My ex-husband’s girlfriend approached me and told me what bothered her about him. But I decided not to interfere.
My ex-husband and I were together for 13 years before we decided to end our marriage on good terms. We remained friends and I was the first one to learn he was having a new girlfriend around five years after our split.
Transparency was crucial for the sake of our two children. We never argued, we simply decided we didn’t belong together any longer.
On the 16th birthday celebration of our eldest son, my ex called me and asked me if he could invite his girlfriend over. I was hesitant because I wanted to meet her one-on-one before he could introduce her to the children, but I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it so I eventually agreed.
She seemed like a nice person. Her care for my kids seemed genuine and I was glad she bonded with them easily. If she was to be part of their lives, she better be a great step-mom.
As the night proceeded, my ex-husband handed me a gift. It was for my birthday, which was rather strange because my birthday was a month ago.
I just took it and smiled, and his new girlfriend winked at me. It was then that I realized she was the one who made him buy it.
The truth is, my ex was someone who never cared about birthdays, anniversaries, or any other important dates. However, over time, I stopped being bother by his carelessness over what I believed was significant, as remembering those dates. But, his new girlfriend wasn’t glad because of that.
When we were alone, she approached me and asked me if he was always forgetful about birthdays and anniversaries. I smiled and nodded.
Later that night, I received a text message from the my husband’s ex-girlfriend, Lisa.
She said she got the number from my ex and wanted to talk more about the topic we touched during the party. “I know this is awkward, but I wanted to know if Ben ever improve when it comes to birthdays and anniversaries? I don’t want to make a fuss about it, but I am really bothered,” she wrote.
Honestly, I didn’t think I should interfere so I wrote that he’s my ex for a reason and that I wasn’t the one to answer that. I didn’t know if he would ever change and it was something they should have figured out themselves.
Few months passed by and I got a call from Ben. He told me he and Lisa broke up over something insignificant such as him forgetting their anniversary.
I asked him if Lisa has ever told him she was bothered by his indifference towards such important dates, and he said she did, and he didn’t know why it was such a big deal when I was never bothered about it.
“Well, that’s why we are divorced,” I said.
Now I wonder if they would have stayed together if I had intervened and discussed Lisa’s concerns with Ben.