Paddy bought a donkey from a farmer for £100
The next day the donkey died.
Farmer: Sorry to hear about the donkey.
Paddy: No problem. I’ll just have my money back.
Farmer: I’ve spent it
Paddy: Ok. I’ll raffle him off.
Farmer: You can’t raffle a dead donkey!
Paddy: Watch me! I just won’t tell anybody that he’s dead.
A month later the farmer bumped into Paddy.
Farmer: What happened to that dead donkey?
Paddy: I raffled him! Sold 500 tickets at £2 each. Made a profit of £998!
Farmer: Didn’t anyone complain?
Paddy: Just the c*nt who won, so I gave him his £2 back